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Controlling Emotions

Posted by on November 1, 2020

Grief CPR Series

Emotion = Energy in Motion

Visualizations to help gain control over emotions!

Practical Ways to Gain Control Over Your Thoughts & Emotions!

What you put out into the universe, and focus on, comes back all the time, no matter what. Some call this Karma, some call it the boomerang effect. I just call it life.

There can be overwhelming emotions surrounding a death of a loved one. Holding onto the pain associated with those feelings keeps you in a circular pattern with no way out. You must learn to let the pain go and focus on the love. Working through your rage and fear that comes with grief will give you your life back

How?

By acknowledging the pain, and then letting it go. Don’t let yourself fall back into the pain, lean forwards to pull away from the pain. Self talk is very important, you must tell yourself that you have felt this pain, and now it is time to release it, as you no longer have a need to feel it.

Change your thoughts, change your life!

Instead of saying “This hurts so bad I don’t think I can take it anymore, tell yourself this hurts, but I am getting stronger every day, I am choosing to remember only the good memories.

I had nightmares, I would see my son’s head hit the guardrail, and wake up screaming, but the screaming was only in my head. I wasn’t making a physical sound. I would sit up out of breath, tears rolling down my face. I could not just peacefully drift back to sleep. I really didn’t sleep much at all, knowing as soon as I fell asleep the nightmares would come again. I needed help, and the drugs were not a good choice for me.

I searched for someone to help me stop the cycle. I tried hypnosis, that guy said you have so much trauma to deal with, they will not stop until you let the trauma in your soul out… well that was not helpful. He did not tell me how to work thru it, just to do it. I finally found a woman to help me, not a DR, but a intuitive person who said you don’t need drugs, you need to fix yourself, I will show you how. She taught me how to visualize, which was hard for me at first. But it changed my life! I stopped the nightmares and blocked the ugliness. It is still there in depths of my brain, but does not come up on it’s own.

Visualization Exercise #1

Sit in a chair or on the ground, so that you are connecting to the earth (called grounding). Close your eyes and breathe deeply and slowly. In your mind think of a waterfall, and place yourself into the waterfall, so the water is flowing over you and going downstream. Now imagine that as the water flows over you it is pulling out all the negative feelings and emotions, give them a color, (I use black) and watch the water pull all the black out of you starting at your head and working downwards, until all the black is gone from you. Then open your eyes and take a deep cleansing breath. Tell yourself the negative emotions are gone from me now I will go in peace today.

Do this as often as you need. I also do it in the shower, and watch the negativity go down the drain.

You define your own life. Don’t let other people tell you how to grieve. It is ok to be sad; the tears have to come to wash away the deep, raw pain. It takes as long as it takes.

Visualization Exercise #2

To help me with the night terrors. She taught me to say to this:

The ugly details of the death have no power over the present.

Only I can give the memories the power to hurt me.

Again self-talk is so very important. Our sub-conscious mind is listening to every word we say. If we tell ourselves we are going to be sad all day and unable to deal with the grief, your sub-conscious mind will do just that for you.

I was taught to do this many years ago, when all we had was a TV for an example. She taught me to tell myself, every time a memory of the crash came into my head, to tell myself to put a peaceful, happy memory in its place and block that awful memory. To imagine my memory as a TV screen, and see the channel change to a good memory. She told me to keep doing it until the bad memories were no more.

So I did this over and over, it took a long time, but finally I was free of the nightmares and the horror of watching my son die.

I had sought out help because I was afraid to sleep, as I would wake up seeing my sons head hit the guardrail over and over like my brain was stuck in replay mode. I would be trying to carry on with life, and an image of me holding his shattered body in my arms at the side of the road would just pop in my head. I needed a way to stop the pain. I needed to learn how to control my own emotions, and stop the bad memories.

How well did it work?

When it came time to rewrite “Love & Courage” I had to go back to those painful memories, and re-live them once again, and they were truly blocked, I had to give myself permission to remember them again.

Don’t get stuck in the pain! You push the pain out with loving peaceful memories every time it comes back.

When people hurt you with their own fears and terror that it could be them, take a breath. Rise above the pain, and forgive their ignorance.

Worrying is wasted time & energy. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

Change your thoughts, change your life!

Love the ones who are still here, and LET them love you.

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